Sarcastic replies from Record Shop Staff


Sarcastic replies from Record Shop Staff

Where is your Garage?  – At the side of my house.
Has Billy Joel been released?" - "I didn't even know he was in jail"

Do you sell slippers? - Have you looked in our 'soul' section?

Do you have Feelings on a 12 ?” - No its just the way I fasten my trousers

This Dire Straits Live CD has some funny noises at the beginning - It is just the people on the front row snoring
Do you have Baggy Trousers? – No, I wear drain –pipes myself.

Do you have Bad Manners? – Well I seldom say please or thank you and always leave the toilet seat up.

Have you got Little Feat – It depends if you class size 8 as little.

Do you have any Curved Air. – Not really curved but I have plenty of curly hair.

I walked into Probe Records in Liverpool and Pete Burns who later found fame in Dead or Alive told l me he didn't like the turn up on my jeans and wouldn't sell me the record I was after.



Genuine Things People Have Asked For in Record Shops

Have you got ?

Hootie and the Bl**jobs

Bob Marley- Leg End.

Lambert and Butler – (Mcalmont and Butler)

 Dr All Bran – (Dr Alban)

George Cole and the Commotions

Van Helen

Immaculate Conception by Madonna

Do you have the CD of Nearly 28 (Now 28)

 I am after the DVD by Eddie Lizard

Bruce Oldfield – Tubular Bells


The Beatles song with "the girl with colitis goes by...' Strawberry Fields

 Oh a tree in motion...by Johnny Tilitson

My Dad has asked me to check if you have any CDs by Big Spider Back? – Bix Biederbecke

Steeleye Spam

Lea and Perrins – Lee Perry

The one from the advert where they say it's not available in shops

Glen Campbell – The Right Strong Cowboy

Johnny Nash – I can see clearly now Lorraine has gone

Cosmic Tentacles

Clean your teeth – Queen Latifah

Hughes and Dower – Ysou N Dour

Trucks don’t work – The Verve

The Damned  - New Garden Hose

Michael Bubble

Little Red Courgette – Prince

MC Fly

Inks – INXS

Vagina Spector





Over 220 independent record shops featured in The Vinyl Revival and the Shops That Made it Happen


The books of Graham Jones are available in record shops or online.

The latest book The Vinyl Revival and the Shops That Made it Happen' has been turned in to a film. 

 www.thevinylrevivalfilm.com

 It is available on DVD and can also be watched on Vimeo 


The books of Graham Jones are available in record shops or online. The latest book The Vinyl Revival and the Shops that Made it Happen has been turned in to a film. It has just been released on DVD and is available in record shops or online. Distributed by Proper Music.

Each week I record The Vinyl Revival Record Shop Podcast. It contains lots of funny tales from the crazy world of record retailing. It is also available on Spotify.

Twitter: @Revival_Vinyl

My blog has over 100 features on record shops and vinyl.

grahamjonesvinylrevival.blogspot.com

For film screenings and talks contact Graham. 


As the person who has visited more record shops than any other human, I often get asked my advice on buying turntables. I always say do not purchase a budget model. What is the point of buying one that costs the price of a few albums? The sound will not do the recordings justice. For a long time, I have recommended Rega Turntables as they are superb quality at great prices. They got more brownie points for sponsoring 'Record Store Day' and manufacturing limited editions just for record shops. 

 

 

Comments

  1. UnknownApril 26, 2019 at 8:31 AM

    I was once asked " Have you got that new record by Tomata?

    Meant Tomita.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousApril 29, 2019 at 7:11 AM

    Working in a NYC jazz dept I was once asked "Have you got that record by that saxaphone player ?"

    ReplyDelete

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